Moonlighting' at JAG
by mkim57
Summary: Just a silly little story to pass the time and get me going on my writing again. Totally AU, so be warned


'Moonlighting' at JAG

Chapter 1/1

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any of the Moonlighting characters or the episodes in which they were portrayed. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: Any JAG episode up to and including, 'JAGathon.' The story is set, smack dab in the middle of the episode, in fact. The television series Moonlighting will be referred to and those of you who are familiar with the show will recognize some of the….terminology, right away. (Grin) This is not a crossover fic.

A/N: This is totally AU, the characters may or may not speak totally out of character and this story is not meant to be medically factual or informative; it's just a means to an end…a story, a silly story at that.

A/N: I should say that if you are not familiar with the series 'Moonlighting,' you may not 'get' what I'm doing here. I just wanted to write something to give my mind a rest and also get myself going on my other story…so here goes…..

This isn't betaed…all mistakes are mine.

1600

Tuesday

November 13, 2001

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm and Mac stood in the bullpen, nearly toe to toe. Both officers so blindly angry, that they didn't notice the audience they were accumulating in the bullpen. "I apologized Mac, what else do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything….friend." She leaned in more closely with her last word and narrowed her eyes. Only someone standing as close to her as Harm was, would have noticed that her chin had trembled as she finished her statement.

"Mac…" He saw for himself how much his words had hurt her now. "I didn't mean…."

"Just forget it Harm, I don't think you know what you mean. I wonder if you ever have. Just do what you always do, move on, and pretend it didn't happen." Her voice was low, but she kept her edge, she was still so mad at him for what he'd said to Commander Turner.

'**_Anyone who has ever been involved with Mac is either dead…or wishes they were._**'

What he said hurt, but it had also embarrassed her, she didn't even know Commander Turner, and how could Harm have said that, off the cuff, as though she never meant anything to him at all? She thought they were friends…best friends.

His expression changed in a split second from true regret to total indignation. "Fine" he said under is breath. He wondered why he even bothered; she never believed anything he said anyway.

"Fine" she answered.

She looked directly at him, at first completely satisfied that she had at least made a dent in the seemingly impenetrable armor of Harmon Rabb Jr.

"Good" He said as he flinched, almost imperceptibly.

'Damn,' he thought. No matter what she did; it got under his skin faster than anything ever could. No one had ever had that much control over him, and truthfully, at times like this, he wanted to knock her block off and kiss her senseless, at the same time.

"Good" She saw his reaction, and now she was sorry she'd said anything, it had been those eyes, damn him; she'd seen only too often how they looked when he was hurt. Covering her regret, she turned away from him and he followed suit.

Both officers walked quickly back to their respective offices and promptly slammed their doors in turn.

Mac leaned against her closed door. This was ridiculous; maybe Commander Turner was right, this was this was totally unprofessional. She and Harm were starting to look like a bad episode of 'Moonlighting'. She chuckled aloud, maybe she and Harm would never get it right, maybe it was just like the 'Moonlighting Curse'. Two star crossed lovers who could never get together, because it would mean the end of everything. She shook her head, thinking that what they had now wasn't so hot. Mac walked around the side of her desk. As she started to sit down, she noticed a folder had fallen from the top of her desk to the floor beneath it.

Reaching down, she picked it up and as she did, she tried to rise up too quickly and slammed the back of her head on her desk. "Ohh" She cried out, just before she fell face down on the floor and blacked completely out.

Petty Officer Tiner was using the copier in the bullpen and had heard Mac call out. He had also heard the loud thump that preceded it. He knocked on the door and when Mac didn't answer, he opened it to find her sprawled on the floor behind her desk. He ran to her and tried to rouse her, when she didn't respond, he called out. "Someone call 911, its Colonel Mackenzie!"

Harm had just come back out of his office, hoping Mac's door would be open again, they needed to talk, and they couldn't do it here. He couldn't leave it like this. He was startled from his thoughts by Tiner's panicked voice.

Harm was in Mac's office in a matter of seconds.

As Mac lay on the floor, she slipped deeper into unconsciousness and unbeknownst to her, another world entirely. She heard Harm's voice, and as had been true since the first day she met him, she couldn't help focusing on it. It had taken on a flirty quality that she'd never heard him use with her before. "Maac…Mac, come on…open up, you know you're not mad at me."

Mac was suddenly sitting at her desk, and couldn't figure out how she had gotten there, but just now it didn't matter, she just wanted to hear what Harm had to say…in that tone of voice. He opened the door to her office, just widely enough to lean in.

"Are you ready to deal, Mac?"

"Okay, Sailor…if you think you're ready, let's deal." They had been going back and forth over a plea agreement for Petty Officer Dill all morning. He didn't belong in the Navy, he was caught impersonating an officer, he should be processed out, and Harm knew it.

She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. She was still mad at him, but there he was, smiling his smile, his eyes lit with mischief as he peeked over his… wait a minute… sunglasses? What was going on? And then there was his hair…it was a little longer…. were those… Wayfarers, he was wearing?

Harm slipped inside her office and closed the door behind him; he rounded her desk and leaned on its edge nearest to Mac. "Am I ready? Do bears bare? Do bee's be?"

Mac blanched and leaned back from him, what was he talking about? "Harm, what's gotten into you?"

Harm removed his sunglasses and looked her over with what Mac could only describe as a leer. "Nothing's gotten into me, Mackie. What's gotten into you?"

He turned away from her and said, not quite out of earshot. "It sure ain't me."

Mac was sure she hadn't heard him say that… she pushed back from her chair. "Excuse me? What did you say?"

Harm turned to look at her, batting his eyes innocently, "Me? I didn't say anything, do you want to deal or not, Petty Officer Anselmo..."

"Petty Officer Anselmo? Isn't it Petty Officer Dill?"

"No, it's the Anselmo case……it's always the Anselmo case….Work with me Mac. Petty Officer Anselmo….."

Mac's head had begun to pound and it was getting more and more difficult to focus on Harm's voice; she turned her chair away from him and stood, walking over to her office window. Maybe she hit had her head too hard, or maybe she should go home. The Admiral had already left for the day; she would just come back early tomorrow. She placed her hand over her forehead and began to massage her temples with her thumb and the tips of her fingers.

Harm had walked up closely beside her, leaning in, he asked… "What's the matter Mackie…rough night?"

Mac looked up at him wondering where the name 'Mackie' had come from.

Harm gave her a sly grin. "Tell Uncle Harm all about it….real slow….Don't leave anything out." He waggled his eye brows at her, and leaned on the frame of the window…waiting.

"Alright Commander…that's it, red light…get the hell away from me…I don't know what's gotten into you, but you're getting out of my office, and I am too. I'm going home, getting into a bath and forgetting all about this…place, until 0800 tomorrow."

She picked up her purse, slammed it beneath her arm and stormed out of her office toward the elevators.

She could hear Harm laughing, calling after her, "that's it Mackie, take a bath, take a nap, let me come with you. Maybe I can finally cross that final frontier…."

Mac hurried across the bullpen, afraid to look over her shoulder, thinking Harm…or who ever that was, might actually follow her out of the building.

**_In the relatively real world at JAG….. (grin)_**

The paramedics arrived and had placed Mac on a stretcher, Harm stood beside her and it was understood he would accompany her to the hospital. Commander Turner and Tiner had followed along on the elevator. As they descended, Mac opened her eyes slightly and grabbed Harm's tie, pulling him down face to face with her. "I don't know what's gotten into you…but you're not getting into me…and that's final!"

"Mac!" He was totally discombobulated. "What are you doing?" He pulled her hands from his tie and stood up straight…only to meet the questioning eyes of Sturgis, Tiner and the paramedics who were attending Mac on her way down the elevator. Harm's face colored and he shifted on his feet. "Uh...ah, it's not…what you think…she's obviously…..confused."

Sturgis raised his hand to stop him. "Don't explain, Commander..." He looked sharply at Tiner, who was looking confused and uncomfortable, as usual.

Mac could feel the elevator descending in her unconscious state, in her mind; she was standing alone in the elevator. She looked down at her shoes, and noticed they were not her Marine issue black pumps, but 3 inch heels, a creamy color of white. It was then that she noticed that she was not in uniform either, but in some kind of pastel…suit…a leather clutch …that matched her shoes, was tucked beneath her arm.

She said aloud. "Something's wrong here…something's not right…." Though to her mind, Harm was nowhere near her, she called out to him anyway. "Harm…something's wrong."

"Mac…its okay, we're going to get you to Bethesda, you're going to be alright…."

Mac couldn't hear his reassurances as the paramedics were now loading her into the ambulance. "Harm…"

Harm climbed into the ambulance with her and looked back at Tiner and Sturgis. "Call the Admiral ,Tiner, and tell him what just happened and that I'll call as soon as I know anything."

With that, the ambulance left the JAG Headquarters lot, and sped toward Bethesda.

As Sturgis and Tiner returned to the bullpen, Sturgis asked the petty officer, "You don't seem at all perturbed by these events Petty Officer Tiner. Do things like this happen often at JAG Ops?"

Tiner was thoughtful for a moment, he sincerely wanted to be honest, but did not want to say the wrong thing about Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie. He was also careful not to speak too informally to his superior officer. "Well sir….yes." And before the Commander had a chance to ask him to elaborate, he asked. "If you'll excuse me sir, I'll return to my duties."

"Very well, petty officer, you're dismissed." He shook his head as he watched the petty officer hurry across the bullpen toward his desk. He supposed Rabb was definitely out of the running in the JAGathon tomorrow.

As Mac was transported to the hospital, in her unconscious mind, she was going home…

She parked in front of her home and throwing her keys and purse on the table, and she nearly flew to her bedroom. Oddly enough, she had to climb stairs, she didn't have stairs inside her apartment…the hell with it; she was just too tired to question it. Everything was odd, she just needed to go to sleep, that was all, just sleep… she would wake up tomorrow and everything would be back to normal. Foregoing her planned soak in a bathtub, she got out of her clothes and fell into bed, her mind only briefly questioning…. why is everything in myapartment either, white, beige or mauve?

**_Back in the 'real' world two hours later…_**

Harm sat at Mac's bedside while they waited for Mac's ER doctor to arrive. She had become very quiet during her transport to the emergency room, and was still not fully conscious. She had been assessed right away and a CT and an MRI had been ordered. Harm was trying not to think of the way they'd fought before she had been hurt. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. He spoke aloud. "Come on Mackenzie…wake up."

In Mac's unconscious mind…she began to wake, hearing someone speak to her and touching her hand. The room was white…almost too bright, she squinted and her eyes came into focus on a strong, well muscled arm...then her eyes followed the arm up to a handsome face…a very handsome face. The face spoke... "Wake up, someone's at your door."

"Someone's at my door?" Her voice still slurred with slumber and in a distant part of her brain, she did hear a doorbell ringing.

"I'll get it…just stay where you are." The handsome face that she still didn't recognize was smiling at her.

Mac thought the voice was vaguely familiar…who was this? She closed her eyes again, until she heard him walk across the room. After he left the room, she sat straight up in bed and said aloud, "Who in the hell was that?" Now it occurred to her she had seen him somewhere before…he looked like that actor…..Mark Harmon.

She rolled out of bed, walking tipped toed to the doorway and crept down the stairs….stairs? She stopped short for a moment….whatever; she'd get to that later.

It was raining…a strong thunderstorm would be a better description, and just as she walked up behind this stranger…who looked so familiar, he opened the door to find Harm standing there, in the rain.

She heard the Mark Harmon man speak…"Can I help you?"

Harm didn't acknowledge him at first; he only looked at her, the hurt and confusion plain on his face. As the rain poured over him, he said, "No, Sam…I don't think you can." He turned away from both of them, and walked back to his car. Mac stood there stunned, what was going on here? ….As she watched him walk away she wondered…when did Harm start driving a Beemer?

Mac couldn't let him think that she'd….that they'd, she didn't even know this guy. "Harm wait… I don't know anyone named Sam…he's not anything to me, I don't even know how this happened."

The Mark Harmon person turned to her frowning, "What are you saying?"

Mac backed away from him…panicking and recognizing less and less of the room, she happened to catch a glance of herself in a gilded mirror near the door and then turned to get a closer look.

She recognized her own face, but everything else was totally foreign to her. She was wearing a long white peignoir, her hair, was…big… and blonde, flowing down to her shoulders, she looked down at her hands…. at her manicured mauve fingernails and as she turned the room began to spin in shades of pink, mauve and white.

She screamed. "AHHH! Someone help me, this is not my life….I've never worn mauve in my entire life!"

_**In the relatively real world…..**_

As Mac was struggling to wake, Harm reached out to touch her arm and Mac pushed him away. He stepped back to avoid her flailing arms, tipping her tray table and knocking his cup of coffee and a small pitcher of ice water over and all over him.

"Mac? Corpsman, she's awake!" He called over his shoulder.

Mac heard the corpsman's voice. "Colonel Mackenzie? Ma'am, try to stay awake. You were brought to Bethesda Naval Hospital. You sustained an injury to your head in a fall at work….do you remember what happened, ma'am?"

Mac heard someone call her Colonel Mackenzie; she opened her eyes, knowing she had to be back in her own life…he'd said her Mackenzie.

She saw the corpsman's face. "Yes." She'd said it groggily, as she kept trying to clear her vision.

The corpsman began to question her, testing her vision and strength; he asked her who the President was and the month and year. When she had passed the preliminary tests to his satisfaction, the corpsman smiled at her.

"Looks like you're back with us ma'am." He looked over his shoulder at Harm. "You had the Commander here pretty worried."

Mac looked at Harm, he had short hair, no sunglasses and thank god…no leer. She lifted both of her hands, inspecting them closely, and then she sighed with relief. 'No mauve nail polish' she thought, she really was back.

The Chief corpsman was curious, "Ma'am? Is there something wrong?"

Embarrassed she answered, "No, nothing."

"Captain Thomas will be with you shortly, he's in radiology as we speak, and then he'll be with you about your preliminary radiology reports." He turned to Harm again as he left the room, "Sir, I'll send someone in to clean up your spill and get you a pair of scrubs so you won't have to leave the hospital in that wet uniform"

"Thanks Chief… that would be great."

After the chief corpsman left the cubicle, Harm walked over to Mac's bedside. "Hey, he wasn't kidding, you did have me worried." He rested his hand on the rail of the bed.

Mac placed her hand over his. "I'm sorry."

Harm frowned and leaned down slightly, "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Mac. Maybe I owe you an apology. I should never have said what I did, I know it hurt you…I wanted to take it back, as soon as I said it."

"You were right, you already apologized. I was still angry, my pride was still hurt."

Suddenly distracted she looked at his hair. "Short hair…you still have your short hair." Mac lifted both of her arms up and he leaned down further, she smooth back his short hair on each side of his head.

Harm grinned at her, feeling a bit confused but loving the feel of her hands in his hair. "Yes, I still have short hair, the same as this morning Mac."

Mac frowned "What kind of sun glasses do you have?"

"You know Mac, the aviator style I've always worn." Okay, about half of what she was saying was making no sense at all.

"Good, no Wayfarers." Her voice was still a bit slurred and gravely.

"Wayfarers? I can safely say, I've never worn those….not even in the 80's" He chuckled and shook his head. Mac was apparently still a bit 'out there', it seemed.

Mac pulled him close and hugged him; this was her Harm, not the guy who was leering at her this afternoon. "Never change."

Harm pulled back from her, raising his eyebrows in question. "You don't want me to change…. anything?"

Mac smiled softly and looked into his eyes. "Not a thing, I'll take you…just the way you are. Even with your foot in your mouth."

Harm leaned in closer and she rose up just enough to brush a kiss on his lips. He pulled back enough to look deeply into her eyes. "I don't know what's gotten into you Mac…but I really like it."

As soon as he had spoken his words, he remembered what she'd said to him, in her confusion on the way down the elevator. They both seemed to remember their own separate conversations with each other, conscious and unconscious, at the same time. They were both blushing deep red as they backed away from each other.

A corpsman came into their curtained cubicle at that moment, with Harm's scrubs. The corpsman began to clean up the mess from the spilled coffee and water, mercifully turning their attention away from their 'moment'. Harm stood up straight and stepped back, "I'll uh…be back in a minute, just have to change."

Captain Thomas came in shortly thereafter, and Harm returned moments later, in a fresh pair of scrubs. He glanced at him and continued speaking with Mac.

"The preliminary radiology reports on your CT and MRI are good, the corpsman said you have been awake for about 45 minutes and have answered his questions satisfactorily."

Mac nodded, knowing there was a 'but' coming.

"But, we'd like to keep you overnight, just as a precaution."

"I'm fine, sir. I really don't think I need to stay." She wanted to go home, to her real apartment, not that nightmare place done in pink and mauve.

"This is not a suggestion Colonel. You lost consciousness for some time, and though your scans are good, I'd like at least 24 hours observation."

The Captain acknowledged Harm, in his blue scrubs stamped Property of Bethesda Naval Hospital. "Changing your designator Commander Rabb?"

"No, sir…just had a bit of an accident with a cup of coffee and a pitcher of ice water." He smiled sheepishly.

"Your friend will be staying overnight Commander; we'll get her into a room shortly." He looked back at Mac and continued, "I'll see you first thing in the morning, I want you to report any blurred or double vision, any headaches… any drastic changes of any kind to the corpsman immediately, understood Colonel?"

"Yes, sir."

The Captain stopped in the doorway and turned toward Harm, "Will you be staying until after the Colonel is settled Commander?"

He looked back at Mac, "Yes, I'll be here, and for sometime after."

"Then I leave her in your capable hands." The Captain looked back at Mac and stepped out to the other side of the curtain.

Harm pulled a stool to Mac's bedside and took her hand. "Look's like its you and me Sundance"

"Yeah, that's us, Butch and Sundance, Batman and Robin…Dave and Maddie."

Harm frowned, "Dave and Maddie…who are they?"

'You've never heard of them?"

"No."

"Didn't you watch television in the 1986?"

" I was a little busy that year, flight school…things like that, didn't leave me much time and when I had time, I didn't spend it watching TV."

Just as he finished he noticed a familiar face, actually two familiar faces in the hall outside Mac's cubicle. Special Agent Gibbs and Dr. Mallard.

Mac thought she recognized one of the men, though she had never seen him before that day. "Who is that?"

"That's Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS, don't know him very well, a bit abrasive" He grinned at Mac. "To put it nicely."

Gibbs stopped as if he had heard him. "Rabb? Moonlighting as a nurse in your off hours?"

"No, I'm not moonlighting. The Colonel was hurt at work today, I'm staying with her till she's settled, and I just had to change out of my uniform."

Gibbs wasn't really interested, but he did catch the Colonel looking at him curiously.

Mac was trying not to stare. He looked just like the Mark Harmon man she thought she had seen tonight, in her bed.

He nodded "Well, don't let me keep you." and started to move on down the hallway, "Come on Ducky, Petty Officer Ansen is waiting to be questioned."

Mac could have sworn she heard him say Anselmo. "Did he just say Anselmo?"

He frowned at her, "No, I think he said Ansen."

Ducky followed Gibbs down the hallway, all the while talking to no one in particular, "Anselmo, unusual name…it seems I vaguely remember hearing that name, associated with an unsolved case, of some sort….somewhere out in California, in the 80's, I believe."

Mac looked at Harm, feeling totally off balance and confused, "Harm."

"What is it?"

"Never leave me."

"Don't worry; wild horses couldn't drag me away from you now." Harm grinned at her and rested his folded arms on the upper rail of her bed.

"No moonlighting, ever, you're at JAG or with me, and that's it….right?"

"That's right…."Harm reached down and caressed her cheek, trying to reassure her.

"And never ever call me Mackie…okay?" She grasped his wrist

"Okay" Harm chuckled, thinking this was a side of Mac he had never seen, she certainly wasn't running from him anymore.

"I'm serious." Mac laughed softly, in spite of herself, she knew she sounded crazy.

"I know you're serious, but now that I think about it….Mackie is kinda cute."

"Knock it off…jerk." She gave his arm a swat.

And so it was….that the only moonlighting Harm and Mac did after hours at JAG was in the company of each other…and it didn't involve a job…of any kind. (grin)

FIN

A/N: The 'Anselmo' case was referred to a lot on Moonlighting…but to my knowledge was never solved…I just thought it might be fun to throw it in there.

A/N: This took place in Season 7 so NCIS was still just a little gleam in dpb's eye. Since I remember Gibbs referring to Harm as JAG's 'fair-haired boy' I assumed they'd had at least a nodding acquaintance.


End file.
